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We didn’t start the fire. Or did we?

July 9, 2012

people are a function of their past I think. And maybe of their present too. Or maybe I just don’t understand what functions are. Everyone is embarrassed of themselves 3 years ago. Like there’s a change in generation in themselves. This blog seems like a good example of that. I can’t believe I was like that, though I’m essentially exactly like that I suppose. Just a little wiser. Just a little stupider.All the keys on my laptop work now, unlike what earlier posts seem to indicate. Now I’ve moved on to problems with my phone(the Y key is the miscreant)

I forgot what I had initially come to write about. It’s been a long time. I’m trying to sound deep, I’m probably failing miserably. 

Oh yes, Hyper Rationality-Good, bad or ugly? Probably a moot question, like whether martians would like pasta, an impossible eventuality hence not worth theorizing about. Sheldon Cooper might be hyper rational, but then he’s not real, and even he fails at it miserably sometimes. They’re all different levels of facades. 

Damn. This sounds depressingly Dear Diary like.

Words are quite awesome. They have unlimited power; to excite, to incite, to invite, to any-other-verbs-ending-in-ite. And Names. They’re a special category of words holding the most power. They invoke so much, they’re such a huge part of someone’s identity. A rose by any other name would be a cheeseburger. Here Indians have a huge dis/advantage. Our names come with pre existing meanings for us to mould to suit us. Names MUST mean something, you can’t get away with being a John or a Doe. Names flow with meaning and life. They’re an inalienable part of us.  Linguistics is a science, picking up sibilant sounds and what not, to figure out what words are composed of. But the whole matters far more methinks, and the context, context is beautiful. Some words do roll off the tongue nicely though,by themselves like serendipity and anathema. Ah words. Ah wordpress. 

 

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Thank god that Hannibal Lecter is not Marwari.

February 2, 2011

Sometimes, you spend a lot of time making exhaustive lists of people you want to try voodoo on.And then make exhaustive lists of what kind of voodoo you are going to do.And whether boiling in oil should precede hanging and quartering or come right after .But oil is expensive nowadays but so is fuel, so cutting it up into pieces would make it boil faster BUT then more oil would be used up.

This is what a Marwari serial killer would sound like methinks. Cinema must thank the gods that Hannibal lecter is not Marwari, otherwise he’d be having liver with achar.And OOH garlic chutney.

Thank god for stereotypes.The world would be a sad place without them.

 

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Look look I’m writing

December 22, 2010

It’s SNOWING.Only on the blog but still.I love this time of the year, they show crappy Christmas movies all the time and try to pass off Hannah Montana as a Christmas movie(which I do fall for and still watch, don’t judge, it’s the time to be gullible, fa la la la la) And Christmas carols, and the weird twisted versions of carols, from Barney’s ones to the Harry potter ones, total awesomeness.I’ve got a female Viking Christmas hat, with two fat cotton braids hanging out, they just look like they’d belong to someone called Ilsa Claus.

I gave my guitar exam, I had to sit next to a kid who insisted he was twelve PLUS.For frick’s sake I’m twelve plus too technically.It’s a good thing we have these things in the winters, you ca pretend to cough and pull up your jacket sleeves and buy time for sight reading.Winters reminds me, auto rides, are excellent, if you want one side of you completely frozen.Gah.

Tomorrow is the last day of class 10.Also known as last day of Kwality Wallls uniform.And last Pheesics class, and last chemistry class, and a whole lot of lasts.But Lasts are good, they lead to a whole lot of awesome Firsts. First day of Blue and White, first Pol science class, first ,well, a lot of Firsts.

All the End of Year Notes are going around on Facebook.I don’t remember what’s happened in the beginning of the year by the time I get to the end.It’s usually just a nice blur of awesomeness, which this one totally was.I met a whole lot of amazing people, and did a whole lot of amazing things. But it being class ten, everyone’s passing around diaries to write in, and I joined in too, just to see how many “I hated you when I first met You”‘s I’d get.Let’s just say I was not disappointed.

Under recent discoveries, I realized all cities have their own lingo.And a lot of it can be translated.Google translate needs to come up with a City to city translate option.This was discovered while trying to explain Chengra to a friend from Delhi, Chengra in Calcutta, is the exact same thing as Gawaar in Delhi.So while Gawaar means something else in Calcutta it takes on a Chengra meaning in Delhi, the whole business makes you love India so much more.I don’t think it can be divided up so cleanly though, the divisions where words morph meaning are very blurred, and are sometimes region wide, and sometimes only campus wide. Some words are city specific and can’t be translated coz those situations arise only there, like aantel, it can’t be translated because aantel is very very Calcutta specific.But this Inter City Dictionary NEEDS to be compiled. There needs to be an Inter School Dictionary too, but that would give away too many inside jokes, and school is pretty much just the sum of its inside jokes.

All relationships are too in the end, my parents celebrated their 25th anniversary this month.The best measure of any relationship, doesn’t seem to be the number of hours you spent on the phone, or how long you’ve known each other, but just how many things can make you go Haha in your head and seem like a crazy person for starting to laugh for no apparent reason. That to me, will always be the best part.More on this later.Must try practicing how to try to cry now.

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Vicco turmeric nahi cosmetic

November 21, 2010

Vicco turmeric/ nahi cosmetic/ vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream/ keel muhaason ko jad se mitaye/ haldi chandan ke gun isme samaya/tvacha ki raksha kare ayurvedic cream vicco turmeric ayurvedic creeem

 

This is what they play in the beginning of movies at Inox, also what I was singing at 2:30 in the morning in Khandala at a wedding. It was the repeat performance, I’d already spent the morning singing it, when we were giving my brother a mohawk styled with Vicco Turmeric and curd.It’s pretty surprising his wife agreed to marry him considering how his hair smelled.

More on that and the aspersions on Munni’s character later. Pakka promise.

 

 

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Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

August 31, 2010

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors

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UNICEF in the House

July 20, 2010

So, we have like the coolest teacher ever for History, who admits that the UN agencies are really boring to do and therefore suggested that we make rap version of the, a friend of mine, who has the best ghetto accent and I did UNICEF after forming the URO(United Rappers Organization) whose motto reads United we Rap, divided we Study, the following is the best thing I’ve written yet.

Established in 1946,
To help out children in a fix
Headquartered in NYC in the US of A
Selling greeting cards, to help the children in every way
Post World War Number Two
Working to help out the countries affected and others too
UNICEF too long a name, man, it never did end
And so, they thought, well, how bout UN Children’s Fund
Empty your wallets put in your donations
It’s all voluntary, something they’ll tell you at MUNs
They feed the kiddies milk, meat, fish and fat
They give the loot for training of health workers, that
Universal Child Immunization, is their motto
The villains are measles, diphtheria, tetanus, TB, whooping cough and polio
International year of the child award goes to 1979
Conventions, summits, all that jazz, aint it fine
They give instant disaster help to kids, so listen up bro
The folks at Delhi and them got a Master Plan Of Operation, the MPO
They give paper for books, to mah dizzles, fo shizzles
But come on y’all, we’re better off with a rap song.

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Just that.

June 29, 2010

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.