This is what happens if you have a Math test. December 13, 2009

You know what I think.

Wonder Woman had a thing for Batman. Though Superman was also kinda into her.

Crejji is here.

The Justice League. Woohoo.

IT’S SNOWING! December 6, 2009

Look, it’s snowing, it’s virtual-so-what. It’s still highly awesome, and it’s made me very very happy. Holiday cheer all around. Thanks to the traitorous Velocity Girl.

Now that you’ve bothered to come here and waste your download limit( if you don’t have a download limit, I don’t like you, you can’t even begin to comprehend my pain and suffering), I found this Six Word Story thing, started by none other than Mr. Ernest Hemingway himself. It was part of a bet, and the basic idea is to create an entire story in six words, his goes something like this, For Sale: Baby shoes, never used.

I don’t know why, but I find it more brilliant than anything I’ve read in a long time. I tried doing it, it’s pretty hard, but also pretty fun, there’s this website consisting entirely of such stories. Six word comments on this post would be highly welcome.

Newton’s Cradle November 21, 2009

For every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus it’s great fun.

Bloggy baby November 14, 2009

I’m sorry bloggy baby, I’ve been abandoning you a bit. That’s not to say I won’t continue abandoning you but at least I’m apologetic. You see, my asli wala life is more full and much more interesting but I will be back. I won’t be like all those horrible people migrating off to new bloggies.For the record it’s my half birthday today so whee. Bye for now, I’ll be back. Here’s looking at you kid.

If I had a hat, I’d tip it towards you.

JLT October 28, 2009

When you have to stencil your name into your Geography file countless times, you wish you had a name like Jay-Z.

 

 

Also, I hope stencils die.

October 17, 2009

Up. Read. Loll aimlessly. Loll aimfully. Wash. Cut. Pretty. Happy. Sesky. Change clothes. Change sheets  Colin. Rags. Toothbrush. Wipe. Scrub. Clean.  Nail in. Nail not in. Nail finally in. Flowers on nail. Mum yell. Mum simmer down. Now Rangoli. Nah, too lazy. Flowers on floor. Flowers everywhere. Mum at neck. Eat eat eat. Wish. Facebook. Poke.Phone. Smoky smell. Soon to be. Smoky house. Soon to be. Smoky mum. Already is. Pink Floyd. Wish You Were Here. Guitar exam. Romanza, Dark Eyes, Russian Bear. Scale up. Scale down. Get ice cream. Eat ice cream. Monte Carlo. Woohoo. Diyas. Wicks. Matchsticks. Crackers function. Crackers malfunction. Her footprints. Lakshmi in white on black. Rain. Lakshmi in white, where. Sprained leg. Pink bandage. All forgotten. Lights on. Fire rises. Happiness prevails. DIWALI!

Trippy trip trip October 12, 2009

I’ll get straight to the point mainly cause it’s a pretty big point and it won’t do to be bored right at the outset I’d gone to Rajasthan on a ridiculously fun trip and will now proceed to document the journey. Bon something or the other, Voyage, though I personally prefer Appetite.

24th September, Thursday, Sashti- Set out on the trip from what was thought to be the shittiest airport in the world before encountering the Jaipur airport. (Well, other than the Shillong airport, that doesn’t qualify, it’s a shack with a strip of tarmac, without a loo, may I add) We’d gone with a 9 year old cousin who insisted on buying Archies at the airport and her 13 year old sis was stuck on getting Princess Diaries. I can’t really say anything since I was forced to get chick lit of the lowest order meself. This was just my 7th flight so I was still considerably excited and insisted on the window seat, I have a theory that Antarctica probably looks like what you see out of the window after entering the stratosphere. Hopefully, I’ll get to prove that some day, till then I’m just happy looking at the fluffy cotton candy and listening to The Show by Lenka. Was considerably disappointed on landing by the general absence of sand and camels( both desires were fulfilled in days to come.) Wedged between two kids, the ride to Khattu was undertaken ( it’s ok if you’ve never heard of that place, I hadn’t either, but the temple there is supposed to be famous), rediscovered the strange happiness found in shady roadside dhabas. It’s a strange feeling with the wind blowing and insects crawling all over. Khattu turned out to be pretty uneventful and the point of the mandir was completely lost on us. One of our numerous relatives has built a guesthouse place there explaining the strange choice for a holiday destination. This place was also sandless but completely made up for it through it’s brilliant food. Somehow I have no pictures of the food, mainly cause we were too busy eating it, but take my word for it, it was fabulous, me-gaining-3-kilos-fab.

25th September, Friday, Saptami- Other than the god awesome food, the main event was discovery of a local Ramleela. The way to the Ramleela, was the stuff in movies about small towns, with tiny stalls of every imaginable kind and boards about “Jaath ke Thaath”( this cannot be translated, just quietly sniggered at) The Ramleela was hellishly amusing and completely unspiritual, the same guy plays his own mother and sister, juggling wigs and voices and vying for the attention of our cameras. Hot moongfalis and unexplained giggling made it all the better. And there were stars, huge clusters of them, more than I’ve seen in 15 years in Cal and that’s a specific sort of beauty not found elsewhere.

(Picture 72)

26th September, Saturday, Ashtami- This was the first roadtrip, it started off horribly with a trip to a random temple that no one was interested in. This entailed foot kebabs and never-ending lines. The way’s really nice though, especially with an iPod and some Coldplay.(Picture 87)

And then arrived Balara, which is my ancestral town and singularly breathtaking. It’s not really pretty as such but it’s where I’m from, and while that is a huge cliché, there’s something about it, about your origins, specially there, where’s it’s hot and fiery and oh so beautiful. This was real Rajasthan, the one I’d wanted to know in any case, with the sand and the peacocks and the camels and the tiny castles and the brilliance radiating from the earth.

(Picture 100)

We have a haeli there, which means a haveli-but-not-quite. When I say “we” , I refer to a 100 year old entity which was my ancestral family. In reality, my dad owns 1/18th of it, and I shall own 1/36th, which actually makes me quite happy. It was rather scenic with two courtyards and an open terrace and fierce portraits and dusty nooks and aangan and khatiyas and chakkis and gorgeous scalloped doorways. I could gush for quite a while.  And oh, a discovery was made, of good tea and warm pyaaz kachoris, if you’re ever going to Laxmangarh, do stop by at New Style Radha Krishna Dhaba.

(Picture 130)

27th September, Sunday, Navami- Second road trip, off to Jaipur, which is pretty pinkish actually. Saw Hawa Mahal and City Palace and Jantar Mantar and all that jazz. Even after being accompanied by a pair of engineers, not much was technological understanding was done at Jantar Mantar, though I did have Vadilal “Fun-tastic” ice cream. In desperation, we tried to tag on to groups of tourists with guides, no Indians had guides and every single one of the phirangis had non English speaking guides, do Americans and Britishers no longer come here? The main item of interest, turned out to be in the “weapons and arms” section, a selection of backscratchers for every occasion. No kidding, they had backscratchers made of ivory and jade and metals, while I only have my plastic green Mickey Mouse one which has never been used. There were Raja Sawai Man Singhs’s polo shirts on display which were freakishly similar to bhaiya’s basketball jersey though probably less smelly. And there was Ramchandar ki kulfi, which is kulfi meets ice cream and Rawat ki kachori, both of which I won’t describe for your sake.

28th September, Monday, Dashami- Denied a car, we took to demolishing the guest house. Starting with carom, which as it turns out is quite a dangerous sport when played with strategists who yell at every movement, I hate the cover-on-the-rani rule, bloody rani, thinking she’s better than everybody just cause she’s red. Ludo(stupid computer, puts a squiggly red line under ludo, how does someone not know about ludo)  was rediscovered and relost. Then came the cricket, which turned out to be bloody funny when we started being watched and filmed by random people, later it was found out that it was a baraat, and we’re part of someone’s wedding video, someone’s going to be dealing with one seriously unhappy bride. But the best part was the poker, the glorious poker, to whom I was an alien before this, my brother finally proved his worth by teaching a bunch of us blackjack, bluff and poker. Poker, is one hell of an awesome game, and it turns out, it’s a game I’m actually good at, which contributes to it being awesome. Bhaiya had to leave at 2:30 to catch a flight and was forced to play dealer till that time, I also managed to steal India After Gandhi by Ramchandra Guha from him as he was too sleep deprived to protest.

29th September, Tuesday, Ekadashi- After yet another sumptuous meal, we went to Castle Mandawa, which again, you must must see. It’s grand, but in a very old-world way, it’s a bit crumbly in some parts but it’s still very elegant and poised, and it has character, which I think stems from letting the building have its way sometimes. Here we met a random German (seriously, there are no English speaking tourists in Rajsthan) who was very hesitant about getting out of the frame resulting in this. (Picture 186) Another good dhaba was discovered, more coke( the soft drink one, what else) was had and pagdis were bought at the local market.

30th September, Wednesday, Baras unto 1st October, Thursday, Teras- Went to Jaipur again, this time to an eclectic mix of places, from Bapu bazaar to Chokhi Dhaani to Taj Rambagh Palace. Bapu bazaar was pink and fun and drove dad crazy and had great chaat. Rambagh Palace was much much grander than Mandawa, but with zero character, it was just too manicured and perfect and unreal. (Picture 211) The fact that soup cost 900 bucks and yet was the cheapest thing on the menu did not better the case, we were too used to dhabas with 20 bucks per plate pakoras. Eh, moving on, I pulled my first propah  all nighter, we had to get up at 4:30 to catch the flight, so instead of sleeping I played Ludo with my only remaining cousin there who did one Trig sum every time he got a six. And then came the drive, at 5 in the morning, the scene is overwhelming with galaxies of stars and a biting wind, this is when I was stumped in relation to my iPod, there’s just no music that can match up to it, that can be the background score. I read the newly acquired India After Gandhi for a full 7 minutes before sleeping such that I almost went to Guwahati on our connecting flight. And then there was just home, wet, home.

I’ll get straight to the point mainly cause it’s a pretty big point and it won’t do to be bored right at the outset I’d gone to Rajasthan on a ridiculously fun trip and will now proceed to document the journey. Bon something or the other, Voyage, though I personally prefer Appetite.

24th September, Thursday, Sashti- Set out on the trip from what was thought to be the shittiest airport in the world before encountering the Jaipur airport. (Well, other than the Shillong airport, that doesn’t qualify, it’s a shack with a strip of tarmac, without a loo, may I add) We’d gone with a 9 year old cousin who insisted on buying Archies at the airport and her 13 year old sis was stuck on getting Princess Diaries. I can’t really say anything since I was forced to get chick lit of the lowest order meself. This was just my 7th flight so I was still considerably excited and insisted on the window seat, I have a theory that Antarctica probably looks like what you see out of the window after entering the stratosphere. Hopefully, I’ll get to prove that some day, till then I’m just happy looking at the fluffy cotton candy and listening to The Show by Lenka. Was considerably disappointed on landing by the general absence of sand and camels( both desires were fulfilled in days to come.) Wedged between two kids, the ride to Khattu was undertaken ( it’s ok if you’ve never heard of that place, I hadn’t either, but the temple there is supposed to be famous), rediscovered the strange happiness found in shady roadside dhabas. It’s a strange feeling with the wind blowing and insects crawling all over. Khattu turned out to be pretty uneventful and the point of the mandir was completely lost on us. One of our numerous relatives has built a guesthouse place there explaining the strange choice for a holiday destination. This place was also sandless but completely made up for it through it’s brilliant food. Somehow I have no pictures of the food, mainly cause we were too busy eating it, but take my word for it, it was fabulous, me-gaining-3-kilos-fab.

25th September, Friday, Saptami- Other than the god awesome food, the main event was discovery of a local Ramleela. The way to the Ramleela, was the stuff in movies about small towns, with tiny stalls of every imaginable kind and boards about “Jaath ke Thaath”( this cannot be translated, just quietly sniggered at) The Ramleela was hellishly amusing and completely unspiritual, the same guy plays his own mother and sister, juggling wigs and voices and vying for the attention of our cameras. Hot moongfalis and unexplained giggling made it all the better. And there were stars, huge clusters of them, more than I’ve seen in 15 years in Cal and that’s a specific sort of beauty not found elsewhere.

This is where something was supposed to blow up but didn't cause the blow-upers were too busy tring to get us to take their pic

26th September, Saturday, Ashtami- This was the first roadtrip, it started off horribly with a trip to a random temple that no one was interested in. This entailed foot kebabs and never-ending lines. The way’s really nice though, especially with an iPod and some Coldplay.

More trees than expected really

And then arrived Balara, which is my ancestral town and singularly breathtaking. It’s not really pretty as such but it’s where I’m from, and while that is a huge cliché, there’s something about it, about your origins, specially there, where’s it’s hot and fiery and oh so beautiful. This was real Rajasthan, the one I’d wanted to know in any case, with the sand and the peacocks and the camels and the tiny castles and the brilliance radiating from the earth.

From the rickety terrace

We have a haeli there, which means a haveli-but-not-quite. When I say “we” , I refer to a 100 year old entity which was my ancestral family. In reality, my dad owns 1/18th of it, and I shall own 1/36th, which actually makes me quite happy. It was rather scenic with two courtyards and an open terrace and fierce portraits and dusty nooks and aangan and khatiyas and chakkis and gorgeous scalloped doorways. I could gush for quite a while.  And oh, a discovery was made, of good tea and warm pyaaz kachoris, if you’re ever going to Laxmangarh, do stop by at New Style Radha Krishna Dhaba.

Nook

27th September, Sunday, Navami- Second road trip, off to Jaipur, which is pretty pinkish actually. Saw Hawa Mahal and City Palace and Jantar Mantar and all that jazz. Even after being accompanied by a pair of engineers, not much was technological understanding was done at Jantar Mantar, though I did have Vadilal “Fun-tastic” ice cream. In desperation, we tried to tag on to groups of tourists with guides, no Indians had guides and every single one of the phirangis had non English speaking guides, do Americans and Britishers no longer come here? The main item of interest, turned out to be in the “weapons and arms” section, a selection of backscratchers for every occasion. No kidding, they had backscratchers made of ivory and jade and metals, while I only have my plastic green Mickey Mouse one which has never been used. There were Raja Sawai Man Singhs’s polo shirts on display which were freakishly similar to bhaiya’s basketball jersey though probably less smelly. And there was Ramchandar ki kulfi, which is kulfi meets ice cream and Rawat ki kachori, both of which I won’t describe for your sake.

28th September, Monday, Dashami- Denied a car, we took to demolishing the guest house. Starting with carom, which as it turns out is quite a dangerous sport when played with strategists who yell at every movement, I hate the cover-on-the-rani rule, bloody rani, thinking she’s better than everybody just cause she’s red. Ludo(stupid computer, puts a squiggly red line under ludo, how does someone not know about ludo)  was rediscovered and relost. Then came the cricket, which turned out to be bloody funny when we started being watched and filmed by random people, later it was found out that it was a baraat, and we’re part of someone’s wedding video, someone’s going to be dealing with one seriously unhappy bride. But the best part was the poker, the glorious poker, to whom I was an alien before this, my brother finally proved his worth by teaching a bunch of us blackjack, bluff and poker. Poker, is one hell of an awesome game, and it turns out, it’s a game I’m actually good at, which contributes to it being awesome. Bhaiya had to leave at 2:30 to catch a flight and was forced to play dealer till that time, I also managed to steal India After Gandhi by Ramchandra Guha from him as he was too sleep deprived to protest.

29th September, Tuesday, Ekadashi- After yet another sumptuous meal, we went to Castle Mandawa, which again, you must must see. It’s grand, but in a very old-world way, it’s a bit crumbly in some parts but it’s still very elegant and poised, and it has character, which I think stems from letting the building have its way sometimes. Here we met a random German (seriously, there are no English speaking tourists in Rajsthan) who was very hesitant about getting out of the frame resulting in this. Another good dhaba was discovered, more coke( the soft drink one, what else) was had and pagdis were bought at the local market.

Strange German lady, arre not the one on the right

30th September, Wednesday, Baras unto 1st October, Thursday, Teras- Went to Jaipur again, this time to an eclectic mix of places, from Bapu bazaar to Chokhi Dhaani to Taj Rambagh Palace. Bapu bazaar was pink and fun and drove dad crazy and had great chaat. Rambagh Palace was much much grander than Mandawa, but with zero character, it was just too manicured and perfect and unreal.

Preppy much?

The fact that soup cost 900 bucks and yet was the cheapest thing on the menu did not better the case, we were too used to dhabas with 20 bucks per plate pakoras. Eh, moving on, I pulled my first propah  all nighter, we had to get up at 4:30 to catch the flight, so instead of sleeping I played Ludo with my only remaining cousin there who did one Trig sum every time he got a six. And then came the drive, at 5 in the morning, the scene is overwhelming with galaxies of stars and a biting wind, this is when I was stumped in relation to my iPod, there’s just no music that can match up to it, that can be the background score. I read the newly acquired India After Gandhi for a full 7 minutes before sleeping such that I almost went to Guwahati on our connecting flight. And then there was just home, wet, home.

Look look September 18, 2009

I have new blog theme, it’s less colourful than the last one but the last one made even the long posts seem tiny due to it’s font. This one’s all minimalistic with proper sized font and lawyer colour theme. Now, since I can’t jsut drag you here to look at my new blog theme, I offer you some quotes from my Book of Insults. No really, this is a real hardcover book on which I blew 200 bucks at the last book fair. Enjoy.

The kings of insults have to be Groucho Marx and Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde still seems to have a day job, but I never see Groucho Marx doing anything but think up delightful quotes, though he was an actor, I think. So here they come.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. -Groucho Marx

I’ve had a perfect;y wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. -Groucho Marx

All that you are you owe to your parents.Why don’t you send them a penny and square the account?

Don’t let your mind wander-it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Her only flair is in her nostrils.- Pauline Kael

She’s all preaches and scream.

Success turned his head.Too bad it didn’t wring his neck a little.

The stork that brought you must have been a vulture.

I know why the sun never sets on the British empire. God wouldn’t trust an Englishman in the dark.

She talks like a revolving door.

And now I am off to an old Hollywood film festival on my laptop with Casablanca, Cactus Flower, Dr. Zhivago, Gone with the Wind and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

Awesomeness is here again September 17, 2009

My exams are over and now I officially have a life again. Yayness. I think I’ve become sane, I only had songs stuck in my head for two exams, I miss the voices in my head. I also miss VOICE, which as it turns out has a uber long fullform.Which I forgot. I will go to MHS website and find it and post it. Note-You will end up in Dubai MHS if you type just MHS, so now, here-Verbalise Oratory Interact Communicate Enact, eh, I prefer VOICE.

We’ve been having random power cuts because the “coal is wet.” You’d think they’d have sense enought to cover the coal. Anyway, becuase of the Wet Coal Syndrome I was watching Twillight on my laptop. Its not intrinsically such a bad movie, its just a whole lot of really bad acting, both of them just pant all over the scenes. I was also watching Queen of the Damned in the morning. As a result of which, I am now wondering if vampires drink from the arteries or the veins, and my mum was doing a Tanjore painting with Krishna in it and his lips were really red and somehow I managed to get her confused between Edward Cullen, Stuart Townsend and Krishna. I love my mum

I also watched Spellbound which has Gregory Peck(drool) and Ingrid Bergman, it’s a thriller about a bunch of psychoanalysts. A room full of psychanalysts is great fun, they analyse lunch choices and dress colours. Actually substitute that with sun signs and you have your average room of Linda Goodman loving teenage girls. I solved the dream analysis a full 18 seconds before Ingrid Bergman did, mainly cause I wanted to save Peck more than she did.  I’m now on Breakfast at Tiffanys and reading The Sixth Sense and Archie comics and Three Men in a Boat which is HILARIOUS.

My mum fell ill and I had to do dinner last night and breakfast today. I learnt a few things about the kitchen, mainly that kitchen mishaps are more fun when the happen to other people. Amen. Also, Maggi and toast is not as easy as it sounds, specially when the toast gets stuck midway in the Tandoor and the Maggi does strange flipflops in the pan.

I will now be a regular post-er for a while I think. Also, if anyone gets their hands on The Lost Symbol, pliss gibh. And if you can teach me the difference between a major and a minor chord for my Guitar ear tests that would be appreciated too.

Agni September 3, 2009

My vegetable seller wears a Vietnamese hat.

When I look up to the sky, I see a perfect V of birds flying south, and wonder how order defines itself in happenings of everyday. There should be more anarchy. So much order could get to everyone sometime or the other. Come to think of it, so could anarchy. I’m in a state of perfect anarchy. Now.

After days, I saw the moon. With a star twinkling, not too far away I’m hoping. White, glowing, serene. In a cloudless sky.

Nihil Ultra. I believe in it, now. Sometimes when I look beyond the green doors and the balcony, there’s always people walking the long dusty path to the building. The building where I hoped to find love. The building which was a stranger the first day I went there. Now it feels like home. With all its rooms, staircases, balconies, noises and smells. The feeling of emptiness never leaves the yellow. Somehow, five thousand strong have not managed to disturb the depths of its emptiness.